Have you ever felt like you’re too much of something? Or maybe not enough in some way? This a theme that’s come up for me recently. And it’s been a kind of confusing one to contend with.
Thankfully, I’ve had chances, over the years, to practice recognizing and shedding unconscious judgements that I’ve held about myself. And one of the biggest lessons I’ve learned from doing this work is that it never really ends.
There are always new layers of ourselves to uncover. And with each new layer comes the chance to step even more deeply into our true self.
Doing the work feels endless and exhausting at times, but this knowing is what keeps me going. It’s what makes every step worthwhile – the exploring, the unraveling, and the coming back together again. Knowing that I’m not supposed to “arrive” anywhere makes it easier to focus on my actual job: to keep getting better. Because my growth doesn’t have an end point. Growing is an infinite process.
So lately, this process has brought a sneaky pattern to my attention. I’ve been noticing how the idea of being “too much” or “not enough” of something tends to creep into my decision-making and behavior. Like how I’ll drive myself crazy sometimes trying to do things myself because asking for help might mean that I’m “not independent enough”. Or like when I say yes or agree to something just because I don’t want to be “too uptight”.
It doesn’t happen every single time (at least not anymore), but I definitely still find myself falling into this old habit relatively often. Especially when it comes to asking for help. It’s been hard letting go of this idea that needing help or saying no means something more than just that. That it somehow bleeds into my capability and worthiness as a human being. But is that actually true?
Ummm, I’m gonna have to go with… NO. Needing help and setting boundaries are part of life. And they’re usually the sensible and healthy choices to make. How do I start feeling better about making them though?
Just becoming conscious of the pattern has already been a big help. Now that I’m aware of my inclination (to make things harder on myself than necessary), I can catch myself in the moment. I can do a gut check and see if I’m operating from a place of stress and fear or calm and comfortable. Because it’s usually my decisions born from stress and fear that come back to haunt me. But when I recognize what’s happening, I can make a different choice. The one that feels right rather than forced.
Living in this day and age, I think just about all of us fall into this trap of feeling like too much and/or not enough at some point or another. It’s actually one of the reasons that motivated my sister and I to create The Secret Lives of Muslim Women. We’ve been hard at work putting this project together behind the scenes and we’ll be telling you A LOT more about it soon. So please make sure to stay in touch by joining our email list! That way you’ll be the first to know about all the exciting things we’ve got coming up!
For now, we’d love to hear about YOUR experiences! When was the last time you felt like too much or not enough of something? How did you handle it? Let us know in a comment below this post or or an email!
Peace and blessings,
P.S. – Are you feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or uninspired by your life? Is there a challenge you’re facing or goal you’d like to work towards? If you’re ready to take a bold, true leap in your life, I can help you. Click here to schedule a FREE discovery session with me.